Spring is the season of breakups, rain, hay-fever and summer longing. No wonder waking up to the birds squawking at your window at the dawn of a drizzly April week is not filling you with joy. But don’t drown in the grey of spring, this is a time of self-improvement, self-discovery and yes, maybe a bit of spring cleaning…
If you’re feeling the world on your shoulders and need to snap out of whatever this sense of dread is that’s making you stay indoors listening to sad music from the noughties and eating straight from the pan, then take a look at this list, you may be surprised.
1. Drink water! I know it might sound boring, the kind of thing you’re mum will text you after you’ve bailed on a family gathering because you’ve had a three day hangover. But believe it or not water isn’t just for hangovers and keeping hydrated at a rave, you should drink it all the time! Like when you wake up, when you’re commuting to work. We all rely on coffee and tea to get us through the day but really this caffeine dependency makes us more tired. Water is better for you than any juice or super smoothie, and detox tea bag- and it’s a whole lot cheaper too. Give it a go this spring, try carrying a water bottle with you for a month and see how better you feel afterwards. (good for the skin too!) Spring is all about looking after you, stay hydrated, stay healthy and by summer you’ll be your best self.
2. Get off social media! T.S Elliot once said we are in danger of becoming ‘distracted from distraction by distraction’, little did he know eh! More recently, directly discussing the topic of social media, Public figure of sorts(?) Kendall Jenner said, ‘I think social media has taken over for our generation. It’s a big part of our lives, and it’s kind of sad.’ And I’m not saying you should take life advice from the Kardashians but what I am saying is spending hours trawling through social media does you no good. People only post their best selves and comparing your life with the filtered reality of other people will leave you feeling worse. This spring but down your phone, take a break from Instagram and Facebook- watch a documentary, read a book, learn something new. I mean you can always catch up on the holiday pics of that girl you once worked with and the irrelevant political debates of those guys from your hometown… but a break from all the stuff, just for a bit will do you good.
3. Get off internet dating! Similar ball park to what we were just discussing in point 2, but a whole different kettle of fish. Internet dating is fine, but when your suffering from the spring blues it won’t do you any good. Having to sell your best self to a perfect stranger when you’re not 100% will leave you questioning your self-worth. Instead of wasting your time swiping and pretending you are furiously passionate about some film you’ve both seen or a song you’ve both heard, just give it a rest. When you’re at your best again, when you’re feeling inspired and want someone to share life’s adventure with then maybe give tinder another go. Until then focus on you and who you want to be.
4. Explore your sexual self! Just because you’re not dating doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be engaging in a healthy sexual appetite. If anything, whilst you’re single it’s the best time to explore sex. When in a relationship it can often become hard to try out new things, now it’s time to really figure out what you’re into. What I’m saying here I know some of you will take the wrong way. And that’s fine, but from my experience of spring singlehood the best thing I did for myself was get an body to body massage. Now before you get the wrong idea I’m NOT saying you should go get a hooker. That will probably leave you feeling all kinds of dirty and sad. A legitimate erotic masseuse however is a trained professional who is a master in the art of sexual practice. Allowing you a sexual experience that will both satisfy your immediate needs and help you deal with the long term sexual issues you might have following your break-up. My first time going to an erotic body to body massage I learnt how to let go, something I had always struggled with.
5. Have an amazing orgasm! Now that you’re a free man, it’s about time you made sure you know all there is to know about having the best sex, and cracking orgasms. You might have thought you were unable to achieve orgasms because you were with the wrong person, or that it was just something you couldn’t do. These are both myths. When I went to the erotic body to body massage parlour for the second time and my masseuse Judy explained to me about controlling my sexual energy and building pleasure without ejaculating I was able to carry on for longer than ever had before which resulted in my having a mind blowing orgasm. Honestly, since then- since becoming in control of my sex drive every sexual encounter I have had has resulted in orgasmic pleasure. (And by continuing for longer it has made me a much better sexual partner) I can proudly say for the first time in my life I am confident about my sexual performance. I can’t say I would be where I am now without exploring my sexual self. So if any of this sounds like something that would benefit you don’t be a prude about it, don’t feel embarrassed- just go!
If you’re worried about going to a dodgy place and not getting a genuine body to body massage experience then go where I went. If you’re in London I would recommend Oriental Massages It’s affordable, professional and discreet. Ask for Judy, tell them Andy sent you.